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#### "Linux Gazette...making Linux just a little more SCARY!"

# The Back Page

- Wacko Topic of the Month
- Not The Answer Gang
- World of Spam

### Wacko Topic of the Month

# Red Bat Linux

Red Bat--The Halloween Edition. The only distribution with a SUI (spooky user interface). Voted most popular distribution in Transylvania. Distributed under the GNU ("Goblins, Newts and Undertakers") Public License. Featured packages:

- SATAN
- kill, killall, terminate
- Dracula Web Server
- BTP (Blood Transfer Protocol)
- alien
- bastille (get rid of your enemies quick)
- bob (watch Bill Gates bob for apples)
- croff (like cron, but run events at random times)
- curses (cast curses on your enemies. The curse will contain words like tail, toe, head, touch, finger, gawk, gnome, frog)
- dungeon (the rattling of ipchains, bind and whiptail, and ringing of bells)
- espell (evil spellchecker, with interesting "suggestions" for words. A companion to VI-agra.)
- exorcise
- fork (a good way to destroy your hard drive)
- fortune, palmreader (used to extract data from Palm Pirates)
- frankenpotato (dress a genetically-modified potato. Inspired by the KDE Potato Guy. See a screenshot.)
- ghostscript
- gibberish
- goblin (gobble input. Same as "cat >/dev/null 2>&1".)
- hell (crash your neighbor's computer)
- insane (drive another user insane)
- ipmasqadm (plan a masquerade ball)
- konquest, kruler (KDE World Domination games)
- mc (Midnight Commander)
- mkzombie
- replicator
- scare (same as "fortune | write $VICTIM")
- setiathome (search for extraterrestrial life)
- shadow
- spellcaster (cast a variety of spells. Use with the kernel's IP Multicasting feature for extra effect.)
- stormpkg (Storm Package Manager with an embedded game of Risk)
- tar+feather
- threaten
- tmpreaper
- trickortreat (a port scanning tool)
- who (make a sound like an owl)
- witch (call up a witch in six easy keystrokes including the newline)

(For those who didn't get the "bob" joke, Microsoft Bob was a "family-oriented interface for Microsoft Windows" that utterly failed in the marketplace. The pages are gone from Microsoft's web site, but here's a product summary from a third-party sales site and a Canadian prelaunch announcement.)

### Not The Answer Gang

### Help me crack my school

Answered By Iron, Heather Stern

just wondering how I can get into my schools computer? Its not like I am going to do anything with it but I was just wondering if there is a way to hack into the network system and well u know....

[Iron]

If you read past issues of The Answer Gang, you'll see that we do not offer help for cracking networks. But you will find much of entertainment, and may learn a thing or two about Linux.

If you type "hack,hacking,hacker" (that's "hack OR hacking OR hacker") in the LG search engine, you will see several articles about hacking. [Note: the search engine was changed after this was written, and comma-OR no longer works.] But you will discover that the word has a different meaning than how you are using it. Hacking means spending long hours at the computer doing trial-and-error experiments, and making new discoveries about how the system works or creating new generally-useful programs. Breaking into somebody else's computer is a whole different activity, and the term for this is "cracking".

Of course if you're in the US, there's a bill in Congress now that would equate cracking with terrorism and land you life in prison.

[Heather]

> just wondering how I can get into my schools computer?

Wait for the teacher to let you into class, turn it on, then wait for him or her to tell you all the class login ID.

> Its not like I am going to do anything with it but I was just wondering

...why I paid so much for community college (gosh I could go to the movies a few times or buy some great clothes) when I hate computers, but then I remember someone saying there's a bunch of money in computers, so I really ought to get into one.

> if there is a way to hack into the network system and well u know....

After I get all the money out of this computer I plan to shake any loose change out of that ethernet hub too.

### 2-Cent Tip

    rm -rf /bin/laden

Do it now and often!

--
BanDiDo is powered by Mandrake Linux and beer!

> [You can also make this a nightly cron job. -Iron.]

### World of Spam

### Custom Made Theatrical/Costume Fangs

From: Killer Fangs!! <shmuck@loser.com>

Have you been looking for a really good set of fangs? Are you trying to achieve a certain look, be it from your favorite movie, or your worst nightmare? Your search is over! Each set of our fangs meet standards of quality as well as aesthetic appearance and will offer you that special "look" you want. We offer custom fit, custom colored, and hand carved fangs tailored to your specifications.

Don't wait too long to start your fangs for Halloween!

#### Ben Okopnik writes:

Not much Linux content, though.

#### Chris G. writes:

Unless we can transmute our daemon processes into vampires by attaching those fangs to them.

Happy Linuxing!

Mike ("Iron") Orr
Editor, Linux Gazette, gazette@ssc.com

##### Copyright © 2001, the Editors of Linux Gazette.
Copying license http://www.linuxgazette.com/copying.html
Published in Issue 71 of Linux Gazette, October 2001