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### This takes the cake

Mike Orr [sluggoster at gmail.com]

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:18:24 -0700

This is officially the most ridiculous LG spam ever. So Miss Suzee Goodluck wants to go out with Linux Gazette.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

    From: Suzee Goodluck <spammersuzee@/dev/null>
    Date: Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 6:29 AM
    Subject: Nice to meet you
    To: spammersuzee@/dev/null

Hello, How are you and how is your work hope all is moving fine.i seek for honest partner and i meet you on linuxgazette.net it was interesting and attractive then i drop by to know who this was, i will like to know more about you. if you wouldn't mind you can reply my mail. i will be very glad to read your mail with all pleasure. it will be nice to meet you and also read from you. please do honor my invitation so that we can exchange our pictures and maybe become partner. Remember the distance does not matter what matters is the love we share with each other. i wait to hear from you soon.

kiss regards Miss Suzee

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Ben Okopnik [ben at linuxgazette.net]

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:14:55 -0400

On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 11:18:24AM -0700, Mike Orr wrote:

    > This is officially the most ridiculous LG spam ever.  So Miss Suzee
    > Goodluck wants to go out with Linux Gazette.

Doesn't everybody? I've worked really hard to make a svelte, sexy representation of the Linux world, with nice ankles and a sultry voice.

(What the hell do you mean, "failed like the Republicans"???)

    > ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    > From: Suzee Goodluck <spammersuzee@/dev/null>
    > Date: Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 6:29 AM
    > Subject: Nice to meet you
    > To: spammersuzee@/dev/null
    >
    >
    > Hello,
    > How are you and how is your work hope all is moving fine.

Yep - those new laxatives are top-notch!

    > i seek for
    > honest partner and i meet you on linuxgazette.net it was interesting
    > and attractive then i drop by to know who this was, i will like to
    > know more about you.

You know, I really like that lowercase "i". It indicates an absence of egotism, a purity of heart, a generous soul; someone who considers the relationship more important than just her own wants and needs. Or it could just mean that your writing skills suck, and that you are a money-grubbing scammer, exactly as the evidence overwhelmingly screams you are. Perhaps I should toss a coin?

[Down, DOWN!!! Not TO you, you greedy little spammer monkey - it's just an expression! Oh, dear. I think I've made my decision, and it's not a favorable one.]

    > if you wouldn't mind you can reply my mail.
    > i will be very glad to read your mail with all pleasure. it will be
    > nice to meet you and also read from you. please do honor my invitation
    > so that we can exchange our pictures and maybe become partner.

Madam, do I know you? Would you mind not standing so close, please? You're breathing on me! For all I know, you may have (as a recent email in my spambox said) "ill-health of Oesophageal adenocarcinoma or gastric cancer with or without eradication of Helicobacter pylori infection in chronic atrophic gastritis patients will be deadly." In other words, back, you damned thing!

    > Remember the distance does not matter what matters is the love we
    > share with each other.

Distance does indeed matter - not only are you trying to worm your way into my personal space (and pocket); not only are you and all your kind malodorous and offensive even before you get physically close: you are a vile skankazoid leech, a flaming diseased pustule upon the body of the Internet, and the more distance between us, the better I like it.

    > i wait to hear from you soon.

Give it a just a littlle longer, OK (e.g., 'while :; do sleep 1; done')? Meanwhile, would you mind keeping your hands off that keyboard? Before you "share the love that matters" with another 10,000 random email addresses? Since, y'know, we share that love.

    > kiss regards Miss Suzee

Kiss my grits, Miss Suzee (a.k.a. Nigerian spammer named Kehinde or Alaba or whatever.) And thanks for the entertainment!

    --
    * Ben Okopnik * Editor-in-Chief, Linux Gazette * http://LinuxGazette.NET *

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Deividson Okopnik [deivid.okop at gmail.com]

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 09:50:11 -0200

    > How are you and how is your work hope all is moving fine.i seek for honest
    > partner and i meet you on aceh.linux.or.id it was interesting and attractive then i
    > drop by to know who this was, i will like to know more about you. if you wouldn't
    > mind you can reply my mail.

Do that aceh.linux.or.id mirrors LG.com or something? I wonder when my email figured there.

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Mulyadi Santosa [mulyadi.santosa at gmail.com]

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 01:54:29 +0700

On Sat, Oct 25, 2008 at 6:50 PM, Deividson Okopnik <deivid.okop@gmail.com> wrote:

    >> How are you and how is your work hope all is moving fine.i seek for honest
    >> partner and i meet you on aceh.linux.or.id it was interesting and attractive then i
    >> drop by to know who this was, i will like to know more about you. if you wouldn't
    >> mind you can reply my mail.
    >
    > Do that aceh.linux.or.id mirrors LG.com or something? I wonder when my
    > email figured there.

wow, I never knew Aceh has its own KPLI (LUG in Indonesia)....

regards,

Mulyadi.

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Ben Okopnik [ben at linuxgazette.net]

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 15:24:51 -0400

On Sat, Oct 25, 2008 at 09:50:11AM -0200, Deividson Okopnik wrote:

    > > How are you and how is your work hope all is moving fine.i seek for honest
    > > partner and i meet you on aceh.linux.or.id it was interesting and attractive then i
    > > drop by to know who this was, i will like to know more about you. if you wouldn't
    > > mind you can reply my mail.
    >
    > Do that aceh.linux.or.id mirrors LG.com or something? I wonder when my
    > email figured there.

Standard spammer tactic, somewhat like the Melissa virus: harvest addresses and URLs from a given site, send mail "from" the harvested URLs to the harvested addresses. The theory is that you're more likely to open an email if it comes from a familiar domain.

    --
    * Ben Okopnik * Editor-in-Chief, Linux Gazette * http://LinuxGazette.NET *

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Steve Brown [steve.stevebrown at gmail.com]

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 12:56:28 +0000

On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 7:14 PM, Ben Okopnik <ben@linuxgazette.net> wrote:

    > On Fri, Oct 24, 2008 at 11:18:24AM -0700, Mike Orr wrote:
    >> This is officially the most ridiculous LG spam ever.  So Miss Suzee
    >> Goodluck wants to go out with Linux Gazette.

    > Give it a just a littlle longer, OK (e.g., 'while :; do sleep 1; done')?

You even managed to fit a one liner in there to keep it on topic.

That's like beating them off with a stick (LART?) whilst simultaneously juggling bowling balls and chainsaws.

Well done! I say.

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