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### The dog ate my laundry...

Jimmy ORegan [joregan at gmail.com]
Wed, 28 Feb 2007 16:48:40 +0000

On 28/02/07, Kat Tanaka Okopnik <kat@linuxgazette.net> wrote:

    > On Wed, Feb 28, 2007 at 04:22:08AM +0000, Jimmy O'Regan wrote:
    > > On 28/02/07, Jimmy O'Regan <joregan@gmail.com> wrote:
    > > >On 27/02/07, Kat Tanaka Okopnik <kat@linuxgazette.net> wrote:
    > > >> Hi -
    > > >>
    > > >> It's getting a bit late in the month to ask this, but I'm guessing that
    > > >> you're still swamped and not up to Laundrette.
    > > >
    > > >No... I'm going to have to surprise you with the lesser-known excuse
    > > >"I have most of the work done, but it's in my parents house, and I
    > > >can't currently complete it as I have the flu, and my sister is living
    > > >there with her newborn daughter".
    >
    > My.  That's a very good excuse.

Isn't it? I wish I'd had a few of similar calibre when I was at school :D

    >
    > > Ava, 6lb 11oz, born 6.24am on the 23rd
    >
    > Congratulations to your sister, and happy birthing day to Ava - you
    > weren't exaggerating about "new born".
    >
    > (What's the Irish equivalent of looking like Winston Churchhilll,
    > anyway?)

Same thing. We're quite familiar with him

    > > >And that's just the stopping point...
    > >
    > > The rest of the story (of course there's a story, I'm Irish &c. &c.)...
    >
    > But this isn't blarney, I'm sure.
    >
    > > I would have been able to do some last minute work on it today, but
    > > I was in court - on the 8th I went to the pub for an hour and a half,
    > > and passed out while crossing the street afterwards. The woman who
    > > almost ran over me phoned the Gardai, and I was arrested.
    >
    > Yoiks! (We're awfully glad that was only "almost".)

Me too!

    > > I blame the insomnia I've been suffering since the end of the last
    > > year (and, fortunately, the judge seemed to agree): this isn't the
    > > first or last time that I've passed out from simple fatigue recently.
    >
    > Given your new duties, that's rather worrying.

Actually, I slept last night, and most of today, without resorting to chemical assistance. Now that the court visit is behind me I feel free to relax about the whole thing.

That, and I've stopped drinking coffee after 6pm

    > > I blame stress for the insomnia: I was "promoted"[1] at the start of
    > > the year, and am now a forklift driver (most of the time)/assistant
    > > manager (I have to replace my manager whenever he takes holidays).
    > >
    > > For the past two months, the idea of having to order around my
    > > colleagues (and friends) was distasteful to me to the point of costing
    > > me sleep, and was the start of this trend. Then, on the 1st, the
    > > forklift driving side got a little stressful when a palette I had been
    > > lifting broke and landed where I had been sitting (that my reflexes
    > > were sufficient to drive myself to safety was not calming enough).
    >
    > I do believe this is that thing called "understatement".

Actually, when I tell it in person, it's quite funny. I just can't convey the facial expressions via email.

My boss came in a few minutes later - he didn't complain about the damage I'd done (I broke not only that palette, but the rack it had been sitting on, and everything on the path downward), merely that I hadn't informed him of what was taking so long - but one of the other guys told me that he'd seen him cause a similar amount of damage (given the option of saying either "don't worry, these things happen, not much you can do about it" or "what the hell were you thinking?", my boss usually chooses the latter) and merely attached a sign to the broken rack saying "maintenance required".

As it was, I, with the other guy, had almost completely cleared up the mess when my boss came along. The other guy delighted in telling me later that, after I had left, my boss managed to further damage the container on the palette, and made a bigger mess than I had

Most of the comedy comes in trying to describe how utterly speechless I was - I spent a few minutes trying to tell the other guy what happened, and managed to not utter a single word. The second person I met was one of my Polish friends, and all I could manage to tell her was (in Polish) "had an accident... forklift... fucked up everything", which sent her into a bit of a panic, as she went to find a translator to find out more.

The ironic thing for me is that I usually drive between wet and frozen surfaces (at times I have to look to make sure my foot is on the brake, and not the accelerator!) - and at that time the freezer I drive in was completely full, so I had to drive with laden forks fully extended - and this happened on one of the few times I got to drive on a dry floor.

Talking to the other drivers was enough to help me relax about this - much better drivers have caused much worse accidents. The guy I replaced told me he once hit the wrong lever, and tilted forward when he meant to lower the forks, dropped the load, and left a hole in the ground. On an inspection day.

    > Ben inquires as to the state of the business you were going to start
    > with a friend? (Please read that as meaning: "Dear Jimmy, I would really
    > like you to get away from the place that makes you want to pick your
    > brain out with a plastic fork, through your nose.")

That went on the back burner, as my friend had more pressing concerns, such as avoiding eviction and starvation. Now that he's in a more secure situation financially, we can start to pursue the idea.

    > If there's anything at all that Ben or I can assist with, I shall be
    > very cross if you don't tell us. We'd much rather have a fundraiser for
    > you now, than after some tragedy.
    >
    > > On top of that, there were some personal issues involving Mark, a bout
    > > of unrequited "teenage-ness", etc.
    >
    > Er...you don't mean to say that your Mark is now a teen?

No, two separate issues. Neither worth talking about in much depth - the Mark issue, because it's now resolved and belongs firmly to the past; the other, because I lack the words to fully describe the stupidity... It may yet spawn a novel

    > > Almost everything is resolved now, but the habit of (somewhat[2])
    > > regular sleep is lost - though I hope the temazepam my doctor
    > > prescribed will help with that
    > >
    > > [1] Extra responsibilities, no extra pay
    > >
    > > [2] My work hours are anything but regular.
    >
    > Do take care of yourself, and how much of this (if any) did you want me
    > to pub as an intro or endnote for Laundrette?

Oh, the lot - including this reply. There's nothing majorly personal or private here - I went to court knowing that there was a chance that the local newspaper may find it interesting enough to write about. If I have the choice, though, I prefer 'endnote'.

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